People who say Letterkenny is unrealistic should hang out around small town hicks more. One time I went to get my husband from work and they were all sitting in a bay in the shop drinking beer and passing around a mason jar of moonshine. One of the older gents goes “That’s a purty nail polish you got on today, Mrs Tom. I like the way it sparkles.”
When I said it was “Lincoln Park After Dark” it started a debate about the band, the man, the actual location, or the car. Or the band the in car in the park after dark.
“Maybe Lincoln logs.” “No poop jokes, it’s Thursday.”
Then twenty minutes of Lincoln car puns. Then just car puns. My husband took my moonshine when I started a round of Karmann Ghia car puns.
Someone made a Lincoln assassination joke, someone said “too soon”, and someone said exactly how many years it had been. I googled it and they were right.
So yeah, hicks are hicks.
They also had a moment of silence for Chester, because they took a vote that it really was too soon for any jokes about that.
Also, we drained the entire bottle of moonshine while complaining the entire time because WHO THE FUCK MAKES BANANA FLAVORED MOONSHINE. IT IS GROSS. But free. And the guy who makes it is a good guy so we didn’t tell him it was gross…
i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar
now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends
we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…
one of the things i really like about los angeles is all the men hanging around with trucks full of produce
the first time i saw one was at home depot, the sun was setting, and i was with a group of friends. and right there, in the middle of the parking lot, was a giant truck filled with pomegranates, so high that he couldn’t possibly drive like that, but it was amazing
i literally stopped in my tracks. i’d never seen so many pomegranates in my life. i took pictures. i was so excited. my friends were laughing at me. people walking by were laughing at me. the guy who had the truck full of pomegranates was laughing at me. but i was thrilled. a truckful of pomegranates just right there, hundreds of them, the same color as the setting sun
maybe it’s weird to romanticize a pile of fruit, but i was thoroughly charmed.
anyway. i left the bank today, and there was a truck of oranges. so many oranges, piled almost as high as i was tall. the man had cut some of them into slices and put a bowl next the bank entrance. ‘free samples!’ he hollered. i took one. it was firm and sweet and i pulled it off the skin in one motion. i bought a bag for $5, and he studied them before choosing one for me, picking up one bag and then putting it down to grab another. ‘they’re sweet,’ he promised.
there’s something so satisfying about it, about going to cash a check or pick up some nails, and being confronted with a huge pile of brightly colored fruit, a cheerful splash of color against concrete.
support your local man with a truck full of fruit. they’re sweet. i promise.
the fact that lights don’t start flickering ominously and short-circuiting whenever i’m upset is maximally unsexy and not at all excellent if you ask me
